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[Music] warning ketamine can be addictive and can cause bladder and kidney damage if used chronically do not use dissociative or psychedelics if you are mentally unstable this information is for educational purposes only and not psychotherapeutic advice lessons from ketamine this is an episode about what i learned from trying ketamine for myself and i want to compare and contrast it as a dissociative that it is with psychedelics which i've done a lot of in the past and so it's interesting to see the differences between those two and the difference in states of consciousness and kinds of awakening that a dissociative can produce versus the classical psychedelics like mushrooms lsd dmt fabio dmt and all that other stuff that i've talked about in the past so this is interesting i've tried a lot of different psychedelic substances that i haven't even issued trip reports on or talked about publicly because honestly many of them are just more of the same sort of stuff different flavors or variations on the same kind of stuff that you get with mushrooms lsd and dmt but ketamine is something a little bit different which is why i felt it was worthwhile to put out this episode so i plugged about 30 milligrams of ketamine r isomer and it plugs great comes on in about 10 minutes the duration lasts for about an hour and a half then after that hour and a half there's lingering side effects for another hour let's say or so uh but you're really tripping for just about an hour and a half at most so it's pretty short as far as psychedelic trips go it's about the same length of a 5-meo malt trip actually which i've talked about in the past go see my episode about 5-meo mult so i'm going to be sharing the sort of trip that i went through and the effects the most poignant aspects of the trip and and what unique and interesting effects it had that were different from traditional psychedelics so right away the most significant difference is the way that it distorts the visual field the visual field gets very wonky in an uncomfortable sort of way your vision gets a little bit blurry you get a little bit of a double vision going on sort of a double vision effect it's not like you're seeing double of your visual field it's not that double but just there's like a little doubling that you see and there's this thing that's referred to as like visual slippage which means that as you're looking around the room it just feels kind of weird and alien almost as though there's something wrong with your visual field it's distorting your visual field not in the classic psychedelic way where your visual field is kind of dancing and morphing around and interesting colors are coming forth the neon psychedelic classic colors you don't really get any of that at least i don't on a low dose of ketamine and my dose i would say it wasn't low it was kind of like a medium dose and remember people have different sensitivities i'm very sensitive to all psychedelics so i would assume that i'm also more sensitive to ketamine than most people but anyways there's no change in colors per se uh but the visual field feels off it feels a bit alien weird and uncomfortable and it makes it actually a little bit difficult to function i imagine that if i doubled my dose the visual field would get very wonky and it would be quite challenging to to even look around the room and to see things and to function in normal way and then if the dose was significantly higher reading from other people's trip reports of very high doses of ketamine which i haven't personally done but there's a lot of consensus on this is that basically your even your visual field will get so twisted and distorted that you won't really be able to use it you won't even be able to read or at really high doses you won't even really be able to turn the lights on and off so there's that which is a little bit disconcerting that's one of the reasons i'm a little cautious about going high on the on the dose with ketamine but people have definitely done it you just have to be careful because you will be out of normal function for about an hour and a half speaking of which is difficult to walk even on the sort of moderate dose that i did it was difficult to walk uh you walk like you're intoxicated you can't walk quite straight it's difficult to balance and so that also gave me concern because at that dose it was manageable it wasn't really dangerous but if you double triple the dose or more you're going to completely lose your ability to walk and i can definitely see people trying to walk on this substance at high doses fumbling stumbling around tripping falling hitting their head on a coffee table something like that so it can definitely get dangerous if you're going to be doing higher doses of ketamine anything beyond a moderate dose you basically have to lock yourself in a room ideally with with no windows and no doors so i'm just going to have a door but i deal with no windows so you don't jump out accidentally or have a trip sitter with you just to watch you so that you don't hurt yourself and you have to force yourself to just like lie in bed and don't go running around and having fun you know this ketamine it's not really like a fun substance that you get to have a bunch of fun on the way you can on low doses of psychedelics where you can go outside and you can frolic around and you can kind of enjoy the scenery you don't really get that from from ketamine ketamine has a obviously very dissociating and anesthetic quality to it because it is an anesthetic it's basically an animal tranquilizer they use it in veterinary services on dogs cats horses to anesthetize them but that's at a very high dose you don't take that much when you're doing it in the way that you know we're doing it for to trip and it's dissociating so what does that mean i mean it's a dissociative that's a class of chemical or drug uh but what does it really mean this word dissociation so i have a few definitions that i looked up for you here the first one is from webmd.com and it says quote dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information you may feel disconnected from your thoughts feelings memories and surroundings it can affect your sense of identity and your perception of time end quote that's very very true you do become disconnected from your thoughts feelings memories and to maybe to a lesser extent surroundings at the dose that i did but i'm sure at a higher dose you would disconnect from your surroundings as well and then another quote i have for you is from wikipedia on this topic which says quote dissociation is any of a wide variety of experiences ranging from a mild emotional detachment from the immediate surroundings to a more severe disconnection from physical and emotional experiences the major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality rather than a loss of reality as in psychosis end quote so that's sort of your standard textbook definition of dissociation but really you don't quite understand what that word means until you do some ketamine and you start to feel that effect come on and that's what's really so interesting about it and what makes it different from many of the other psychedelics is that of course the other psychedelics the classic psychedelics they will screw with your thought process and they can get you a sense of no self they can get you to feel like you know you're disconnected from your traditional human identity of course they do all that and they can put you in deep meditated like states but but ketamine is still quite unique and it's worth talking about that and uh it has some interesting implications for the work that we're doing here with actualize.org with spirituality and with metaphysics and epistemology so what's really interesting about ketamine is that it shuts off symbolic reasoning and thinking and it's difficult to explain to someone the significance of that basically it nukes your conceptual mind very significantly even at a moderate dose and if the dose was doubled i would imagine that it would wipe that out entirely it becomes quite difficult to think it becomes difficult to reason it becomes difficult to do analysis or any kind of symbolic logic which is mostly what you're doing with your mind most of the time and i was doing some research in preparation for this talk looking at some scientific studies of you know what does ketamine actually do sort of neurologically chemically in the brain how does it actually function and what kind of effect does it have on you know brain waves and that kind of thing and there's a great research study that they did recently on sheep where they gave ketamine to sheep and what they realized that when you give a high enough dose of ketamine to a sheep what happens is and then they attach electrodes you know they basically do an eeg scan with electrodes of the of the sheep's brain and what they notice is that it it completely shuts off the cerebral cortex the cerebral cortex is that part of your brain you know it's the it's the frontal lobes so to speak it's the most evolved highest level part of the brain in humans especially it's more evolved than in other animals this is what distinguishes humans from other animals this is what gives us our humanness you might say our capacity to reason to logic to analyze to conceptualize and all of language so it deactivates that whole thing and it's one thing just to say that to you but it's another thing to actually live through what you know how that's happening um now you might say here well leo isn't that sort of like what the point of meditation is is to shut off the thinking mind and just to sit there like an animal like a cat on a windowsill and just experience life and of course that is a lot of what meditation aims to do so very interestingly what i found with ketamine is that it aligns very well the kind of state of consciousness that it put me in aligns very well with the classic buddhist advaita vedanta sorts of meditative states and experiences and even awakenings that i hear a lot from buddhists and people who follow that sort of eastern path um a lot less mystical a lot less visionary i would say and more just like it nukes the cerebral cortex you lose even the desire to think or to analyze anything and it gives your mind a deep sense of relief it almost turns you into an animal i would say if you want to know what it kind of like you want to imagine what is it like to be an animal they can't really logic they can't do mathematics they don't do advanced reasoning they probably don't think very far ahead into the future or about their past they're sort of just very like living in the moment and not doing a lot of symbolic thinking and and that's exactly what ketamine gets you a taste of what's interesting though is how it actually feels and what you you know what insights you take away from this because even though in this work we talk a lot about how your mind is conceptualizing all the time and that really what you're living in is you're not living in reality you're living in a sort of augmented reality where your conceptual mind is projecting and interpreting and doing like a lot of a lot of additional layers adding a lot of additional layers on top of just the raw stuff that's there in reality we might say even though we all kind of logically know this we understand this but you don't appreciate how much of your life is conceptual until you take something like ketamine and it just wipes out the whole conceptual mind i'll talk more about that in a second but before i get there because i just kind of want to go in order of how this occurred for me during my experience is that the first thing that i notice as all this is coming on you know beyond my visual field getting wonky and my inability to walk and all that i'm just sitting there the first thing that i noticed is just how deeply relaxed and comfortable i start to feel it puts me into an instant effortless meditative state where my mind is completely blank and and um but you would think that well but if i'm if i'm like in this dissociated sort of like mindless state then it might feel bad actually no it feels amazing because for the first time in your life perhaps especially if you've never meditated or you've never become a very efficient meditator because it would take you years to be able to reach a state like this through meditation you get to a point in you get to a point in this experience where you're completely free of your thinking mind and it's such an enormous relief it's like a giant weight has been lifted off your shoulders that you didn't even feel was there in the same way that when you're walking around on the surface of the earth it's pretty effortless just to walk around but you don't actually feel how much work your body is doing to counteract the gravity on earth but then when you shoot into outer space and you're floating around in a vacuum then all of a sudden you see what it's really like when there's no gravity and how effortless that experience is and then you come back down to earth and you feel oh my god it's so heavy to be on earth because i've been out in outer space right so this is the this is the experience that astronauts have well the same sort of thing happens here but with ketamine but but conceptually you don't really appreciate how much of your life is deeply conceptual even many of the things that you think are scientific or physical facts actually turns out to be conceptual and this gets wiped away and it's quite astounding uh personally you know i've meditated for years but i've never been able to reach a meditative state that was this empty of thought and this sort of like mindless you might say like a true state of no mind uh i've not been able to reach reach that just through my normal efforts part of that is because i'm very conceptual i'm very intellectual so for me one of my personal like greatest strengths but also weaknesses in life is that i am very intellectual about my approach and my attitude towards life there's pros and cons to that so the biggest pro to that is that i can put out all this great deep content that explains to you using symbolic reasoning how reality works that's what all of my videos are about right and if you like my content that's why you like it that's sort of like my unique selling point to you but the flip side of that is that then it becomes difficult really difficult to shut off the mind because the mind gets in this attitude of thinking and trying to understand everything all the time so it's it's in a sense it's antithetical to to meditation because in meditation you just want a blank mind and then but then there's there's also pros and cons to having a blank mind so a lot of what the meditative people don't tell you the buddhists and so forth they don't tell you what you're losing by being in a state of no mind you are losing some things too you're not just gaining freedom but for now let's just focus on what you're gaining what you're gaining is this enormous sense of freedom i felt like so relaxed so at ease and deeply happy like a profound sense of happiness and it's not a happiness that's like an ecstatic pleasure or bliss or ecstasy which of course you can experience on classic psychedelics i've experienced that a lot that's its own separate category of happiness this happiness here it's a much more even keeled just like mellow very chill just like ah complete relief from the need to think about anything you're not thinking about your future anymore you're not thinking about work tomorrow you're not thinking about the kids that you got to take care of you're not thinking about all the [ __ ] in your life that's bothering you all of that is wiped out and what i imagine for many people this will be the first time in their life that they have been truly happy there's just like a pure very innocent joy to just sitting and being comfortable without being bored without being excited without having any kind of feelings tugging you in one direction or another you know even positive emotions when you're excited about something when you're horny you might think like these are great and of course they can be great but um they're not peaceful because even your positive emotions a lot of times they're pulling you towards something you have a desire or something like that is happening they're not letting you really just be at peace and just be kind of still and so ketamine does that for you and it and then and then what you realize what's so valuable about this which takes it just beyond some sort of you know temporary escape from the obligations of normal life what's valuable about this actually from personal development point of view and from a spiritual point of view is that it shows you rather than just telling you it shows you just how much suffering is caused by your conceptualizing mind and you're worrying about the future most people i think have no idea because even for me this was a bit shocking of a revelation most people have no idea how much of their suffering is caused simply by by their thinking about the future constructing and projecting a future in fact it's even more extreme that i'm letting on here because really what i realized in this state of no mind is that all of suffering is caused by that all of it and of course you can hear advanced meditators and buddhists tell you this kind of stuff but it's one thing to hear it and to read it in a book it's another thing to actually experience it because that is a holy [ __ ] moment where it's like holy [ __ ] i'm completely free of suffering i'm in such a peaceful deeply relaxed state i want nothing i need nothing nothing is pulling me in any direction i have no goals no plans i don't care about anything and i can't even think about i can't even be bothered to think about the future or the past that's what ketamine does for you and then you're just left in the present moment and then as they say of course is like what problems exist in the present moment really none and you just feel simply happy without being in a state of pleasure you're just happy you're content you're satisfied and you need nothing you don't feel like anything is missing because what you don't realize most people don't realize that the reason you can't be satisfied sitting here right now doing nothing is because your mind is so used as part of its survival strategy your mind is so used to thinking about all the stuff you need to worry about and do in the future to acquire the things you think you need to be happy whether it's money shelter sex relationship stuff answering your emails maintaining your job going to the gym all that stuff you don't realize how much effort it takes to maintain all that stuff most people don't realize that and so it's quite profound to actually experience a state of completely no suffering and also no boredom at the same time you might think well isn't that kind of boring it's not boring because boredom is also something your conceptual mind is constructing that too is gone resistance is gone any kind of lingering anxiety in you is gone fear is gone you can't be bothered to fear anything again most people don't realize how much residual low-grade anxiety and fear exists in your mind and in your body as a sort of a constant low-grade humming background noise throughout your whole day as you're going through your day even if nothing terrible is happening to you even if you're having a good day there's always that that little bit of worry and anxiety just as being part of a human living in life you know there's dangers in the future that you got to avoid you got chores to do taxes to take care of this obligation that obligation your schedule is full you got to go somewhere be this place answer that person so all of that is wiped away and it's very relieving furthermore what i would say is that there was a lifting for me of depression and well i already mentioned anxiety but yeah a lifting of depression and anxiety um and it's not that i have depression i've never really been a depressive person i i've struggled with depression a little bit more in the last couple years because of some of the health issues that i've been dealing with just because they were so uh stubborn that you know after a certain while of dealing with a health issue you can't fix it you get depressed over it but but that that's a that's a minor thing anyways um i'm not really a depressive person but again most of us don't realize that there's a little bit of sort of a background hum of depression like almost like a little like a little fog that you're living in day to day throughout your life you don't even realize it so ketamine lifts that away and it does the same thing with anxiety now i even noticed that like i don't i don't consider myself as having depression but i sort of noticed a little bit of that depression kind of just like lifted i'm like whoa wait a minute where'd that do i didn't even realize i had that depression like it just kind of like lifted and went away because it's there all the time so you don't notice that same with the with the anxiety so so based off that i can see how powerful this tool of ketamine can be for people who really suffer from depression or anxiety like high levels of it i've never been a super anxious or depressive person but some people are some of you guys are and i can see how this can be very powerful for that what it does it it will show you that your depression and your anxiety is stemming from your future projecting in your conceptualizing mind so basically it's how your psyche is surviving in the world conceptually that is causing your depression and your anxiety a lot of times people think that oh well i'm depressed because like life is meaningless and i'm depressed because i because you know i'm a nihilist or something like that go see my episode about about nihilism where i i counter many of the common misconceptions about nihilism but but actually that's not why you're depressed you're not depressed or anxious because of some nihilism you're depressed because your mind is constructing negative meaning but you're not aware of that but or even if you are aware of that you're not you're not capable of stopping it you don't know how to stop it because your mind is just in this depressive habit that it's built up over years and decades and it's the way you're thinking about your life the meanings you're attaching to different aspects of your life whether it's your relationships or your inability to get laid or your frustration with your health problems or your problems at your job and um you know whatever is causing your depression maybe some family situation that's causing you depression or anxiety that's all conceptual all those problems believe it or not are conceptual and ketamine just wipes those away so i can see how this is a double-edged sword here you have to be careful because if you do suffer from depression anxiety you might be tempted to say like well leo then this is the cure this is the magic pill to lift my depression my anxiety yes in a certain sense the problem is that it only is going to last for an hour and a half and then you're going to come back to your old conceptualizing mind which is going to recreate your depression see so then you might say well leo then then there's no value to it whatsoever no that's wrong there is value to it because it shows you through direct experience that it is your mind constructing your depression or your anxiety and it might give you insights into how you need to change how your mind works to stop doing that the other double edge here sort of the danger with this is that even if it can show you all these good things and it can lift your depression for a while of course if you're very depressed and very anxious this is going to feel like such a huge relief to you that you're very likely to be going to become addicted to this substance and you're going to start using it chronically to escape from dealing with the problems in your life and furthermore from handling and changing the way that your mind works to create the depression right see the real work here would be to take the ketamine experience the relief enjoy that but really use that moment to see how your mind constructs depression or anxiety and then when you come back make a resolution to say okay what that showed me is that i can live without depression anxiety but i need to change how my mind works i need to reconstruct my whole psyche so it stops creating depression and anxiety and then you got to go through the you know maybe a multi-year-long process to do that i'm not fully sure what that would involve doing but you'd have to change how you think how you conceptualize things and so forth that would be difficult work most people who are very depressed or anxious they would not want to do that difficult work instead they would fall into the trap of saying ah that lifted my depression it feels like a cure-all let me just do more ketamine and they just do dose after dose after dose of ketamine to the point where they're taking like five grams of ketamine per day and then this destroys their bladder their kidneys gets them addicted and and it doesn't really solve anything for them because eventually they're going to have to you know they're going to you're going to rat ketamine at some point you can't be on ketamine your whole life and also when you're on this ketamine you're not very functional you can't also be a highly functional person when you're on a moderate to high dose of ketamine because you can barely walk so uh i can see a very powerful potential here for this substance to alleviate severe depression and to help people with anxiety and other things like that but there's also a danger here if you misuse it so basically it puts you into a state of no mind and it puts you into a state where nothing matters in a good way this would be like true nihilism it shows you really the difference between a sort of a conceptual nihilism and true nihilism conceptual nihilism is when you're telling your mind is telling you that oh nothing matters and and life sucks and then you become cynical and this whatever right this is [ __ ] this isn't real nihilism real nihilism would be where like you truly don't give a [ __ ] about anything and you're just happy as [ __ ] as a result because nothing matters nothing matters nothing means anything there's nothing to do there's no point there's no goal but there's also no boredom there's no negative meanings attached to the meaninglessness it's just perfectly meaningless and it's awesome you're basically just like sitting like a cat on a windowsill enjoying whatever experience is before it just being and it feels amazing but it goes deeper than this for me what happened after this is that i started to kind of introspect and go inside myself and do a little spiritual work the way that i like to do on psychedelics and very quickly i got a strong sense of like questioning my own identity very deep sense of ego dissolution and no self it produces what i would call the sort of classic no self awakening that many buddhists talk about and many advice talk about so you can definitely get that with ketamine especially at the higher doses you'll get it that was very easy for me to see it was easy for me to introspect and to to realize just how constructed my entire human identity is of course i've experienced this many times on other psychedelics so this is nothing new for me but but still i would say that on other psychedelics you could have a sort of a no-self awakening but then usually it'll also be mixed together with a lot of like mystical visions and visionary stuff and sort of like more of the sort of like flavors of god and and that kind of stuff whereas here uh you don't get much of that it's it's it's more bland it's just sort of a more bland no-self which is like a no-self-awakening which is sort of like what what the buddhists usually talk about and hold as like the pinnacle of spiritual work is just like wipe out the self to the point where it almost feels like you're just depersonalized like nothing is personal you can't be bothered to take anything personal anymore you can't even be bothered to be afraid or to be angry or to be jealous or to be frustrated like it's like you're sitting there and under this ketamine state you're like why would i even bother with feeling that way why would i have these thoughts about worrying about the future or the past it also suppresses your memory to the point where if you have problems you know if you have trauma in the past it'll probably suppress that i would imagine because it becomes more difficult to access your memories because a lot of those are symbolic and also highly conceptual and and yeah so you look inside yourself you realize there's no self there you realize that your whole human identity is just a construction symbolic construction and since symbolic reasoning is not even coming up for you you're not even like thinking of yourself as a as a personal biographical self anymore you're just sitting there as a conscious being uh but then it kind of went one step deeper than that for me is then uh i kept contemplating introspecting more and then i i hit upon this very profound sense of not knowing if you've been following my work you know i'm a fan of peter ralston's work he was a big influence on me especially earlier in my spiritual journey and his book the book of not knowing i'm a big fan of that book if you've read that book if you like that book and some of his work you can see that like what he's talking about with not knowing if you struggle to understand what what is not knowing and what is its significance ketamine will show you ketamine will basically show you that you don't know anything it shows you that all you're knowing is conceptual and symbolic and that when one when that is wiped out you literally just don't know and i went further than that i introspected i was able to get in touch with infinity with my infinite consciousness while i was on this ketamine and then i i introspected so deeply into the infinity that i like and this this is it's not like i hadn't realized this in the past but it was just so prominent and so poignant on ketamine like i'm i had the most profound sense of not knowing that i've ever had i don't get not knowing so much on other psychedelics i'll compare and contrast in a second with stuff like five meow and dmt uh but before we get to that just the not knowing like i really looked at what is the nature of knowing anything and i looked at the infinite consciousness that i am and then i realized that me as infinity is completely unknowable it's literally absolutely impossible to know infinity is so hard to explain because it seems like sort of like a cop-out or almost like this might make you cynical or nihilistic but actually there's a sort of a meta-knowing you know that you as infinity are not knowable and that any attempt to try to know or to explicate infinity is just absurd and futile and this is not a problem for you like it is for the conceptual mind this can be a problem for the ego this can be problem but when you in in this ketamine state there is no conceptual mind there is no ego at this point and so it becomes this deeply profound mystical sense of not knowing and you realize the absurdity of trying to know things you realize how shallow and trivial and delusional that is and so you you appreciate the power of not knowing and you surrender even the desire to know and you don't really appreciate how much your mind has the desire to know and to make sense of reality so this whole sense making apparatus that the ego mind is is and that it functions and it's doing that function all the time most people aren't even aware that that it's doing this that your mind is doing this trying to make sense of everything all the time this your mind is doing this even if you're not some deep intellectual uh your mind is still doing this well that's wiped out and not only is it wiped out but you see the absurdity of that you see the futility of that and then you resign to it you surrender to the not knowing you don't treat it as a bug you treat it as a feature and then from that you get a profound sense of peace and joy and personally for me this was very valuable because look uh my mind loves to understand things that's like what my whole like reason for living is you might say is the understanding of reality and that's that's important i'm not dismissing the the importance of understanding i'll talk more about that in the future and even in this episode but um it's such a huge relief especially for me who spent his whole life trying to understand everything to just realize that all of that it has its use but the but there's something like even deeper than that which is the not knowing now it's still what's funny is that the not knowing still involves an understanding you're understanding that you cannot be known that infinity cannot be known so that's still a form of understanding um but uh you realize that all the relative notions of knowing that those are [Music] never gonna get you to the truest knowing the truest knowing is the not knowing the knowing that infinity cannot be known and that's an enormous relief and i think this would be a huge relief especially for intellectuals if you're an intellectual type if you're an overthinker over analyzer if you're hyper left brained if you're very logical if you're very scientifically minded um i don't know why but right now as i say that a picture in my mind is coming up of kurt jymongel i did an interview with him he's just like very sciency oriented very logical sort of very rational very meticulous you know he asks very meticulous scientific questions about spiritual topics and other sorts of topics um yeah i mean it's great he's got a beautiful mind in a certain sense but also like you can see just how like how much mind is going on there um and then like for him to do some ketamine i would imagine like and to experience this freedom from mind and then looking back at his usual way of interfacing with reality just like completely full of intellect removing all that and seeing that difference that contrast that would be hugely valuable to him i think because otherwise you're stuck in your mind and you don't even know you're stuck in your mind and you're trying to use your mind to get yourself unstuck from your mind that gets you just more stuck in your mind right this is this is the biggest problem with intellectuals is they actually think that more intellectualizing will solve their problem and it doesn't and most of them are blind to it this is their biggest blind spot with academic types with professor types with public intellectuals people like sam harris and jordan peterson like these sorts of these sorts of people um [Music] the richard dawkins types of people uh a good dose of ketamine will humble will humble them and uh will rob them the of the illusion of knowing because see with people like that and i include myself in that group of people with people like us who are highly intellectual like a lot of our ego is is related to building up some sort of model of reality where like we really think we understand something through our conceptualizing and we do a lot of analysis and we do a lot of like technical intellectual work and we really think we're getting somewhere and then we take pride in our ability to think carefully and all this um and look that that's good at a certain level but there's a level that's you might say deeper than that or above transcendent of that which is um there's deeper aspects of reality that you just cannot access and then in fact that whole scheme of intellectualizing analyzing modeling mapping making sense of things that whole scheme is precisely the obstacle to realizing some of the deeper aspects of reality and so i think ketamine can can help very much with people like that who are stuck in their minds uh furthermore what i got is i got a little bit of a taste of god of myself as god um i think that might be though because i have that now almost any time i want to anytime i introspect i can sense myself as god so that that i think just came from you know hundreds of of mystical awakenings that i've had on more classic psychedelics over the years so to me i'm very comfortable with that that's very easy for me to access uh but it's nothing extraordinary it's nothing like as profound as you would get on five million dmt or five million malt or even mushrooms or lsd so ketamine i think it could put you in touch with god or yourself as god but um i think for i think most people wouldn't get that on ketamine they would overlook it it would be too subtle too mild for them and it it it just ketamine would not be as effective for a god realization as something like 5meo or dmt or even mushrooms so there's that i had insight while i was introspecting here i had insight into how mind and self creates meaning knowing and suffering i actually was able to see how my mind was creating it and that was extremely valuable it's very valuable to see that because usually in your normal state of consciousness you can't see that and on psychedelics you can see some of that but i would say psychedelics take you in a slightly different direction there is something unique some unique insights and realizations i got from ketamine that i did not get from over 150 trips on classic psychedelics many of which were amazing and way more profound than this ketamine trip so it's not that this ketamine trip was like my deepest trip or my highest awakening or anything like that it wasn't i've had much higher awakenings and god realizations and mystical experiences through other chemicals but there was ketamine had a unique enough flavor profile that it highlighted certain flavors of consciousness and awakening and this whole spiritual work and how my psyche worked it hits on certain notes that classic psychedelics hit on at all or hit on indirectly and i'm not saying here that you couldn't realize many of these things that i'm talking about on some other chemical or some classic psychedelic you probably could realize any of these things on almost any psychedelic the issue is sort of like certain chemicals just like hit you with certain facets of awakening and spirituality in more prominent ways in the same way that you know your tongue you can put different foods on it and it'll that food will even though most food consists of sweet sour salty um you know umami flavors there's only like five different basic flavors you know spicy um there's only like five basic flavors but each food hits your tongue receptors in a different way and highlights different aspects of the sweetness the saltiness and the different combinations thereof right there's a lot of variation in food even though there's like only a few basic type of taste receptors so i find it's the same way like with the mind or with the brain and these chemicals um there's not that many different facets of awakening and spirituality and how your mind works but at the same time there's there's multiple dozens of them and you can hit them from different angles and you can explore them and you can go into them at different lengths you know there's different degrees of sourness for example you know something can be a little bit sour or like ridiculously sour and you don't really appreciate what sour this is until you feel and explore all the different variations of sourness and even how it combines and connects with sweetness and saltiness and all this so that's kind of what's happening here so i think there's something valuable about this ketamine experience even though i've basically touched upon all these different facets in previous work that i've done through tripping and meditation and so forth i would say that ketamine gives you a sense of what depersonalization disorder and derealization disorder might be like it does feel that way a lot of times people complain when they have a depersonalization or realizations where they actually complain that they're suffering so in that sense ketamine isn't like that because there's no suffering it's in fact it's the opposite of that so it's maybe it's not fully the same as depersonalization derealization maybe it is more just like sort of a classic buddhist awakening it's simple it's stark it's zen like it's not very mystical or imaginative and then after a few hours it basically goes away but i was left with a pleasant afterglow that lifting of depression and low-grade anxiety and just kind of like a joy and sort of freedom from your own mental [ __ ] and monkey chatter that last that that was like an afterglow that stayed with me for a couple of days and then of course what happens is that because you're back in normal life your normal mind comes back your symbolic reasoning all comes back online um after your trip and then of course you're you're in the middle of life and you're faced with emails you gotta answer taxes you gotta do chores you gotta do business problems relationship problems family problems career problems money problems sexual problems right all this it all comes flooding back and then your mind just goes back into survival mode and it's it's thinking about how to handle all this stuff it's like you're juggling balls you know juggling 10 different balls surviving and then very quickly you fall right back into your old habits and if you're not careful you're just going to fall right back into them and you're going to you're going to recreate your depression you're going to recreate your anxiety by how your mind is attaching and projecting meaning onto everything in the world because that's part of your survival process and so what was very valuable to me about ketamine is it showed me just like the connection between how my mind is thinking about certain things in the future the meaning is attaching to that and then how that's coming back to bite me in the ass with some low-grade form of suffering anxiety fear sadness disappointment frustration and then how that cycle is perpetuating itself and furthermore where that all came from it's like oh i can go back into my childhood i can see that oh this is just like a survival strategy that i learned back when i was at school you know i learned to handle life this way and to think this way about this thing and then if this happens that i look at that negatively and if if that happens i look at it positively and then like you learn how to basically psychically survive you learn how to survive as a mind when you're a kid and then those habits just get ingrained over decades and then you're just executing them spontaneously without even thinking about them and so the real work in personal development and spiritual growth is to see that and then change those habits which of course is a much bigger thing and ketamine will not simply change all that for you it's not going to fix everything for you it's not some magic pill but the thing is that most people have no idea that this is even happening they don't even know that where their suffering is coming from they don't see and they won't even believe you when you tell them that your suffering is created by your own mind they don't believe it they really think their suffering is coming from some external problem in the world like leo i'm suffering because my dad is an [ __ ] or i'm suffering because my girlfriend's a [ __ ] or i'm suffering because she cheated on me or i'm suffering because i don't have enough money that's not why you're suffering you're suffering because of how your mind is attaching meaning to those things and constantly thinking about those things ruminating negatively about those things and you're not conscious of that whole process and you know how to stop you don't know how to stop it and this is how you're surviving literally your physical survival depends upon the meanings you're attaching and the sort of augmented reality that your psyche has created to survive as that particular psyche that you identify as that's the true cause of your suffering so if you're one of these people who is interested into spiritual work because you really want to escape suffering and hey you know a lot of buddhists frame spirituality in this way buddha himself probably did i think is you know the point of spirituality just keep suffering well if that is truly why you want to pursue spirituality and you're pursuing my work and awakening in god because you think it's going to free you from suffering and that's what you care about most because you're in such a deep state of suffering this is for you and i don't just mean that you should do a bunch of ketamine what i mean is that maybe do a little ketamine and then notice notice the actual structure that is creating your suffering become conscious of that and then go about the difficult work of correcting those habits and that's how you can escape your suffering so the value of ketamine in this process would be to kind of be the gateway to show you rather than just me telling you or some guru or some buddhist telling you it's very different for some buddhist monk to tell you something versus you actually experiencing the very mechanism by which your mind creates suffering because if you're not conscious of it you're going to be at its effect you can't transcend it and so yeah there's going to be some some kind of afterglow but then the afterglow will wear off so be ready for that don't think that the afterglow will stick around forever so now let's compare a little bit uh ketamine versus something like 5-meodmt because you're probably wondering well leo i like what i'm hearing here about ketamine so should i do ketamine instead of five meow dmt what's your favorite now is do you like having more than 500 mt what about dmt what about mushrooms what about five mile malt what about other stuff you've talked about uh you know leo what's better for our work here if i'm trying to actualize all this actualized stuff what's the best chemical to help me uh i would still say that if you really want the deepest understanding of reality possible what you're actually searching for is you're not searching for a buddhist style no self awakening i mean that's good you want that but what you're really after is you're off after omniscience ketamine doesn't give you that omniscience um and what you're really after with omniscience is you're after god you're after god realization god realization is still the highest even though there's no not knowing stuff is great the no-self stuff is great freedom from suffering is great all that is great uh you know no mind that's great but it it it it's just it pales in comparison to realizing yourself as god and a state of complete omniscience and love oh i forgot to talk about love uh let's bring that up since we're on this topic um let's mention that well i mean the reason i forgot to talk about is because there really was none you don't really get i didn't get any profound sense of love on this ketamine trip and i doubt i would get much more of it if i did higher doses because i didn't really get any of flavors of love no real realizations of love and so uh ketamine would not be good for realizing love that doesn't mean love is any less real it just means that ketamine doesn't focus on that facet of awakening or consciousness at least not for in my experience so um uh yeah so if you if you want the highest awakening you got to realize [ __ ] love is what i'm telling you so for that purpose five mbo dmt is still one of the best five emul malt is still one of the best i would say those are the the two the two best uh dmt classic dmt and ndmt also up there probably in the top three um of course lsd mushrooms those are all all good um but at a lower tier really your top three are five of your gmt five mule mult and classic dmt i would i would put those at the very top um and so if you're looking for god realization then then those three if you're looking for for love realization then one of those three and i would still prefer to do those over ketamine but i still think there's value in ketamine i think there's value in doing it more than once i think there's value in doing it at higher doses carefully right because it it does inhibit your ability to walk and just even to to see so you gotta be careful there's danger potential there um but it's worth exploring i think five trips of ketamine in your lifetime at least would be good good to explore that um and then i don't know maybe if you're finding value in it keep doing it beyond that but i probably wouldn't do it more than like five or ten times because i would just find more value in in the other chemicals for what i'm interested in which is the highest understanding of reality um ketamine is not going to cut it and in fact it might create a false sense that you're done so to speak and that you've sort of realized the buddhists classic buddhist awakening sort of thing and that you're sort of done and that now there's nothing to know and that's it you're done and the reality is that that's an illusion you're fooling yourself and really what's very fascinating about comparing something like five amio malt with ketamine is that it just shows you the limitations of narrow paths like buddhism or advaita vedanta or neo-advice stuff or this sort of like very simplistic no-self teachings these sort of very stripped-down reductionistic versions of spirituality these forms of spirituality where you're just you're you're aiming towards cessation or the quieting of the mind you're aiming towards no mind and that this is the sort of the ultimate realization these are not the ultimate realization they're great but they're not the ultimate and i think it's very difficult to see that without any chemicals because if you're just going to be following a buddhist path just to reach that level of no mind and like liberation or whatever else you want to call it you know buddhists have all sorts of words for it you know um to reach to reach these kinds of states of consciousness requires so much work it's so rare that when you do achieve it you're going to think you've arrived and you're not going to know what you're missing and really that's because you don't realize the infinite number of states that consciousness can take and you have no idea the highest states that consciousness can take and again like i've said in the past meditation is not going to take you to the highest states of awakening it just isn't and the reason i say that is not to be arrogant but because i've interacted with a lot of people in the spiritual community who have done buddhist practice and various kinds of neo-invited practices and advised vedanta practices and so forth and uh it's just obvious to me that they haven't had the most profound kind of awakenings that i've experienced on for example fibromyalgia malt or five amino dmt that's a whole other order of magnitude of thing and um to me it's a higher it's a higher awakening and it takes you more actually in the sort of religious direction and more into the christian direction than it does into the eastern buddhist vedantic direction which are more stripped down forms of spirituality the five-meal molten family of gmt takes you more into what i would say is like the ecstatic forms of spirituality it's an ecstatic mysticism whereas buddhism is more just like ketamine that just sort of like nukes your conceptual mind but nuking your conceptual mind is not the same thing as omniscience or infinite consciousness or god realization or the realization that reality is love and that's why a lot of buddhists will deny god or they will deny love not all of them some of them admit it but a lot of them i've talked to advanced buddhists who have clearly have no idea what god is they clearly aren't conscious of themselves as god and that's because all they've done in their 40 years of practice is they just sat in meditation and they've trained themselves what does meditation do it just trains you to nuke your conceptual mind and then you're sitting there instead of no mind and that's great you're free of suffering you're peaceful someone could even pour a can of gasoline on you and light it on fire and maybe you're not gonna make a peep because you've trained yourself so well and your mind's not creating any any suffering and you could burn alive and that's looks cool right it looks very badass and you might say you're liberated and all that that's all fine and there's maybe a utility for all that but it is it isn't the same as god realization you're not actually omniscient so for me i would take five ammo dmt or 5mm malt or dmt classic dmt over ketamine and i think it's very useful to compare and contrast in your own direct experience look if you're a serious meditator if you're a serious buddhist a serious advice or vedanta practitioner or yogi or whatever whatever it is i can't communicate enough to you how valuable it is for you to experience radically different states of consciousness that are very different from the tradition or the sort of lineage that you come from if you're good at meditation that's great but i bet you you're missing something if you can enter effortlessly in a state of no mind and no suffering that's great you've achieved that let's say but i bet you you're missing something and you don't know what you're missing until the psychedelic shows you what you're missing that's really one of the magic powers of psychedelics it's not that they're going to completely transform your mind and make you liberated and free of all suffering forever in that sense psychedelics are pretty bad if that's all you want then psychedelics won't give that to you in many cases but what psychedelics really are good at is just showing you the full gamut of what consciousness is capable of and it shows you how radically different high states of consciousness can be not all high states of conscious are the same they can be radically different and it shows you why there's so much diversity within spiritual traditions and mystical traditions they're not all the same the christians the buddhists the vedantists the yogis they're not all talking about the same stuff they're accessing different states of consciousness high states of consciousness mystical states of consciousness godly states of conscience but in different ways and different flavors and at different degrees and depths but none of them are accessing the full gamut therefore there's so much disagreement dispute and hostility and naysaying and criticism from one tradition to the next there's also a lot of overlap of course as well there's a lot of agreement but there's a lot of disagreement too and this explains why a lot of even awakened teachers will will disagree with each other criticize each other fight with each other and claim that one is not awakened when the other one is and all that kind of stuff right it seems petty but actually it's not petty it's it's because the gamut of consciousness is much broader than anybody thinks even awakened people and you need to understand that awakening comes in many degrees and many flavors this word awakening or enlightenment is a very dangerous word in the sense that you hear it then you just start to assume that well everyone who's talking about awakening or enlightenment are talking about the same thing the same experience the same depth the same breath all the same facets and the answer is no that's not the case people are using this word awakening or enlightenment or whatever they're using it in their own personal way referring to their own personal experiences which are different from other awakened people's experiences and it's very hard to then compare those experiences the only way to do it is personally for yourself the only way you can compare different kinds of awakenings different depths and degrees and flavors of awakenings different facets of awakenings is by going through it yourself and that's very difficult to do through any kind of singular spiritual practice it's very easy to do with a a variety of different types of chemicals it's like a consciousness buffet that's the difference a traditional spiritual path is like going to your same favorite restaurant over and over and over and over again and really eating the same meal over and over again and getting really familiar with that meal and maybe even very satisfied with it over time to the point where you forget that there's more than just that one meal that's possible in the culinary world and then what i'm advocating is more of a buffet approach right you go to a las vegas buffet the caesars buffet one of the best buffets in vegas that i've been to you go there and then you get to sample a hundred different things and some of them are not so great other than are amazing but but but there's a sort of a meta a meta quality to it that's above and beyond any individual dishes that you get to experience and compare and contrast all of them and you see that oh my god that's really the magic of consciousness and and god and and mind is not that it does one thing deeply but that it has this incredible diversity to it and then you can make sense of mystical traditions and spiritual traditions and different religions a lot better and you can make sense of spiritual disputes a lot better because you realize that really a lot of what spiritual disputes are about is like you know one person at a buffet arguing for their favorite dish another person arguing for their favorite dish because all they've eaten is just that one dish they didn't go around the whole buffet and try all the different dishes to see the the the infinite diversity of the dishes and the various kinds of pros and cons to those dishes so the reason i'm so passionate about psychedelics you know people keep saying leo when are you going to hear the message and hang up the phone it's like um i like exploring consciousness what else is there to do but to explore consciousness to me that's the point of life is to explore consciousness um so i i've never found this sort of like singular mono-maniacal buddhist tradition or advice and tradition or yoga tradition to be appealing to me because it always felt just intuitively too limiting why would i straight jacket myself by sticking to one tradition now of course there's pros and cons to this when you stick to one tradition you can go like really hard on and get really good at meditating so i do sacrifice in that sense i'm not the best meditator but i think what i sacrificed there i've made more i've more than made up for in other ways by exposing myself to this vast gamut this diversity of of high states of conscience and awakenings and facets of awakenings that just simply i would not have been able to explore and wouldn't even know about if i just blindly stuck to some dogmatic uh you know buddhist meditative practice for decades the way that some hardcore buddhists do and look i appreciate their dedication that that's not easy to do um honestly i envy that kind of you know mono maniacal focus that some buddhist practitioners have i don't have that to me i love exploring the diversity of consciousness too much to sit there for you know for years and decades doing the same old breath counting technique to me um that that's that's that's way too limiting of a form of spirituality i need a much more broader richer form of spirituality than that so that's what i'm pursuing and and i just i love the fact that conscious has so much diversity to it to explore and i'm excited to explore that further because the amazing thing is that you never know what you're going to find around the corner you think you've got all the facets but then you realize there was something hidden in some nook around the corner that you didn't quite know about and maybe some chemical unlocks that for you so that to me is the true value and power of psychedelics so uh what's the final verdict on ketamine is it worth doing here is my thoughts in a nutshell here's a summary ketamine is good for depression and anxiety at least temporarily i wouldn't expect it to be a magic pill to solve it forever and don't think you can just keep doing ketamine every day and you're going to be well off i don't think that's going to work but it is good for a temporary relief i think if you're having suicidal thoughts it can be very helpful against that too i think like for example if you're on the edge of killing yourself and you have no other saving grace you've tried everything else and nothing works uh at that point i think yeah you have nothing to lose give ketamine a shot it'll definitely wipe out your suicidal thoughts at least for a few hours maybe for a few days hey that's better you know that might hold you over if you're in a really bad funk suicidally speaking uh ketamine is great for shutting off the mind for accessing non-symbolic consciousness if you don't know what that is for analysis suppression if you suffer from analysis paralysis then um just overthinking everything or anxiety caused by that then ketamine will be good for that again at least temporarily ketamine is good for showing you how you're constructing that your depression your anxiety through your thoughts it's good for that it's good for accessing not knowing deep states of not knowing if you don't understand what not knowing is or you haven't had a profound awakening into not knowing you need that i think that's very important and that might be difficult to access on certain other psychedelics realizing no self that's also important of course it's important to realize that your biographical human conceptual self is a fabrication ketamine could be good for that the downside of ketamine is going to be that it's going to distort your visual field in an uncomfortable way and the higher the dose the worse it's going to get with blurring vision double division wandering vision it's going to be hard to even focus on things and see things clearly there's going to be difficulty walking that can become dangerous the other downside is that there's going to be a higher danger at higher doses it's not really a fun psychedelic you're not going to be very sociable on it it's not good for recreation i would have a lot more fun personally on five million dmt or fabio malt or almost any other psychedelic i would probably have more fun on except salvia so it's not fun for me um ketamine the other downside of ketamine it's not as mystical as classic psychedelics it's not as profound as 5-meo dmt malt or dmt so if you're really looking for like deep mystical spiritual profundity and insight um ketamine is not the best for that it's not as godly or loving so if you're looking for a god realization or a love realization love awakening god awakening uh probably try something other than than ketamine it is potentially physically harmful there's reports that with a lot of use and it has to be quite a lot of use you will start to experience bladder problems and kidney problems pretty severe ones but this is usually with people who've used it you know who consume like multiple grams of ketamine per day which is an enormous amount these are people who are basically addicts uh speaking of which there's potential here for addiction i can especially see it with people who are very depressed very anxious or very suicidal once they get a little taste of ketamine and they see how good it is because it's going to give them such a huge sense of relief from all that [ __ ] that you're just going to want to do it the whole day every day every week and if you get into that territory now you're using it to escape your problems you're not actually solving any of your problems you're fooling yourself and on top of that you're actually physically harming your bladder and your kidneys and probably other parts of your body maybe even your brain with that much use and also what's going to happen is you're going to build up tolerance that's the that's the last negative thing i have to say about ketamine is that it has tolerance so it takes about seven days for the tolerance to go away seven ten days to completely remove the tolerance but if you get addicted to it you keep using it all the time you can develop tolerance that's going to eventually turn into tolerance that lasts for weeks and even for months if you way over use it so the nice thing about the more classic psychedelics especially five in the odmt fabio malt and dmt is that they have no tolerance whatsoever now mushrooms and lsd those do have tolerance which is about also seven to ten days um but the classic psychedelics relatively speaking compared to ketamine they don't actually cause physical harm to the brain or your kidney or your bladder or any of your organ systems as far as i understand and in my experience so i definitely think that something like 5mm dmt is physically safer it's also not addictive um so there's there's less potential for abuse there now i have to uh i have to mention that i've only done a moderate dose of ketamine i haven't done high doses or doses high enough to reach what they call the k hole uh and so some of you who have reached the k hole might be saying leo what are you talking about ketamine is so profound and so mystical and and all this like you're underselling ketamine because you just haven't gone deep enough i'm fully aware of that possibility uh i'm extra careful with ketamine because i am worried about how it might affect my health and so forth and you know some of the dangers with losing sight of your vision and losing your your walking ability there's definitely dangers to ketamine beyond stuff that you can experience on five meow dmt or other psychedelics so i'm cautious about that i don't know maybe at some point in my life i will take enough ketamine to experience a k-hole um i've read reports about it it sounds pretty profound i would like to experience it um maybe at one point in my life but uh i'm not really rushing to get there and um [Music] i don't know uh i still think you're gonna get ultimately a deeper a deeper awakening through something like 5mu dmt um but maybe i'm wrong but maybe the k-hole will will change my mind about i don't know so um so just keep that in mind this is sort of like giving you the moderate dosed version of what ketamine is if you take it at really high doses it might get much more profound than what i've talked about here but also keep in mind that if you take crazy high doses of five amino gmt or fibonium malt or dmt you will also reach states that are just absurdly profound beyond anything that words can describe so again you know you have to kind of compare apples to apples here because if you take a if you compare a mild dose of five of you on gmt with a k whole dose of ketamine then yeah the ketamine might be more profound but you got to also then take like the k whole version dose of 5 amio dmt to compare it to the k-hole uh dose of ketamine and then you know who knows who knows which one is is gonna be more profound and then also we have to be open to the possibility that for different people it different substances will have different degrees of profundity kind of depends on what your priorities are what your interests are and even your genetics and how the chemical affects your brain because these chemicals affect people in different ways and you're really not going to know until you try for yourself so with that said ultimately the question is should you do ketamine do i recommend it here's my thoughts on that first of all if you're not mentally stable and you suffer from mental illness then i don't recommend any kind of chemical for you no tripping for you basically uh is too risky but assuming that's not the issue uh i think like i said it's worth doing at least a few times if you're serious about understanding consciousness my teachings are geared towards people that really want to understand consciousness if you don't care about understanding consciousness and exploring the full gamut of consciousness then don't don't do it and maybe for you your mushrooms and your lsd is enough for me personally it's worthwhile to experience the difference to be able to contrast tryptamines versus dissociatives because they are a different class of chemical and if you only do psychedelics and tryptamines uh and you miss out on the dissociatives then you're gonna be missing something potentially so to me that's that's a valuable contrast and experience to have but overall i still prefer tryptamines over dissociatives and then the final point is the healing potential there is some great healing potential with this chemical for depression anxiety trauma suicidal thoughts that's that's the plus side but the minus side is that those people who suffer the most from those conditions are probably going to be the people that most likely abuse ketamine and get addicted to it and destroy their body with that addiction and use it as an escape rather than as a legitimate tool for personal development and growth and so in that case i don't know what to tell you people like you know if you're on the brink of suicidal depression for example um should you take ketamine i mean on the one hand you got you got little to lose if you're already thinking about killing yourself on the other hand um maybe it just sends you over the top and makes you even more suicidal after you come back down from it you know because when you're going to be in it you're going to feel great but when you come out of it you're going to feel so shitty again and if you're not going to take responsibility for actually changing your life and the way your mind works you're just going to go back into your old thoughts and that's probably going to make you even more depressed and more hopeless and even more suicidal and maybe then you get addicted to ketamine and i don't know is it better for you to have suicidal thoughts um and potentially kill yourself or is it better for you to get addicted to ketamine for the next five years and destroy your your bladder and your kidneys but at least you don't kill yourself you know with a gun uh which is better i don't know there's no way i can answer that for you you know you got to figure that out for yourself i'm just sharing some of my thoughts and experiences with you ultimately it's very important for me that you take full responsibility for whatever you put into your body how you change your consciousness how you explore consciousness how you do personal development work how you do spiritual work right i'm not telling you to do any particular thing i'm sharing my experiences i'm giving you ideas of what's possible you have to then do your own research and critically decide for yourself as the ceo of your life the chief executive of your life that's you as the ceo of your life you bear full responsibility for what you decide to do with your life which meditation techniques you decide to do which yoga techniques which books you read which teachers you listen to whether you even listen to what i'm saying and you believe me or disbelieve me you're responsible for that in the end don't try to offload that responsibility on to me i try to make these videos as safe as possible but in the wrong hands this information is not safe nothing is safe in the wrong hands a fork is not safe in the wrong hands so just keep that in mind as you're thinking about all this stuff don't try to do things because you think i told you to do them i didn't tell you to do anything i want you to be mature enough and take ownership over your life that when you decide to do something it's because you decided to do it because you think it's right for you based on your best intuitions and research rather than because some authority figure or some charismatic youtuber persuaded you with some fancy words to do something don't do things just because you see me doing them do things because it makes sense for you in your overarching plan for your life that you yourself have designed carefully consciously by sitting down and reflecting independent of whatever anybody else thinks or says including myself based on your highest values and your life purpose and your priorities this is crucial you can't have a good life without taking on this responsibility it's a big responsibility to take ownership of your own life and to make decisions for yourself and to generate your own answers rather than looking for other authority figures to just give you the answers the easy answers without working for them generating your own answers takes more work that's why people don't do it because they're they're lazy and they want just somebody to give them a quick answer somebody smart somebody charismatic somebody that they can hold up put on a pedestal as some authority figure guru spiritual teacher or whatever so hopefully you understand that and i think most of you do and as long as you do that that's that's what should keep you more or less safe at least as safe as you can be now there's no guarantees of safety in life uh you just want to take precautions and one of the most important precautions is to think for yourself and not just to blindly follow the words of that of others or just do something that i'm doing just because i'm doing it see i'm me and you're you i have a unique character profile you have a unique character profile ketamine could affect me differently than the way it affects you dmt can affect me differently than the way that it affects you and my goals could be different from your goals my spiritual goals can be different from your spiritual goals you see so that's all something you have to think about you know sit and contemplate this stuff go for a drive go drive around town for an hour contemplate this stuff for yourself rather than just clicking on the next video and just glutting your mind with more video more video more video more video i hope you're taking time to pause and reflect on these videos especially my videos because i pack a lot of material and insight into these videos a lot of experience goes into these episodes such that you can watch one of them and contemplate it for weeks for months for years and extract more insights from it and then also act on it and get gain experiences and re-watch it like you have to you have to engage with this material don't just be passively listening to this stuff while you're cooking dinner every night and you just watch one video after another video after another and not thinking about it and you're just always constantly jumping from video to video to video just listening and vibing information being programmed by my words while you're doing some mindless chore but but not sitting down and actually consciously thinking about these things that were said to you that would be a big mistake a big trap that i want you to avoid all right that's it for today see you the next one you